Thursday, February 12, 2009
{ 1:09 AM }
okay, decided to take it as a brand new day today.
earlier in the evening, xy, angeline, ky, amos and myself went to anaki studio located at chinatown to jam, it had been a week since i last touched drums. hais.
where's my angel notes that you promised? where?finished up 'fall for you' but need to add a few cool stuff in order to make it more zai! yeah!
i know i can! i am on my own now. ):
in the past, i relied on you too much and now, without you, it had fallen apart.
i told myself i have to do it and encouragements from deck 5 and summerfrost. (:
hais, is over.
i always put a smile on my face but deep inside i am seriously hurt, really hurt and painful.
but i have to put to an end too if not i would just go crazy.
i went for an appt today and the doctor told me i might be suffering from some disorders. ):
it will only be comfirmed after my report is out.
it affected me so much that i could no longer express my feelings easily.
i can be impulsive at times.
crying suddenly and laughing for something or even nothing. unstable i should say. ):
anyway, fear not! god is always there for me, watching over me, protecting me and loving me unconditionally.
i am both physically and mentally tired to the extreme!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
memories, both good and bad.
always to remember the good ones and leave behind the bad ones.
i really enjoyed my time with you all these while. (:thanks for everything.there must be an end to it, be ruthless, end it now like what you told me.i would feel better! right?i must learn to move on... i must... i will and i can...
i need 1 or 2 more sessions with the doctor and i am done, can lead back to my normal life. (i am not saying i am abnormal. HAHAHAHA.)
maybe kind of?
numbed, numbed. ):
i know you are reading my blog and my blog might be the only way i can keep in contact with you for the time being. hais. ):i........................................................... am tired already.i wanna hug you tightly but it will never ever happen again. ):never. ): it pains badlyyyyyyyyyyy. i wanna move onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!*criesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss*
